Wednesday, 18 March 2009

Aboot Us

1690 an' all thon is a natwurkin' organisation made up o' sum o the finest mines in Ulster Scots Academia. It wis farmed tae promote the Histerical an' Archaeological aspects o' Ulster Scotsness, as well as tae tell the wurld aboot the rich diversity o' the kulture. Accidently it alsae cuvers palitics an' the enviroment frae time tae time, as the mood taks us.

Wullie McIlveen

Professor o' Wile Auld Larnin' at the University o' Mid-Antrim since 1975, Wullie is aged sumwair betwain 43 an' 87, dependin' oan which o' his passports he is travellin' under. Wullie yinst became interested in auld things when he foun' a branze age ring piece wile hokin' aboot in a sheugh near tae the family fairm ootside Ahoghill. Howiver it wasnae til he wis servin' a short spell in Crumlin Road Gaol for cattle rustlin' that he began his studies in ernest. He gained an MA in Auld Things frae the Open University o' South Korea in 1967, fallyed by a PhD frae Texas Homebase College, focusin' oan stains. Willie has published several wurks, includin' the seminal "Stains a hiv hoked oot". He still lives oan the family fairm, wi his wife an' sister Kathleen.

Billy McQuillan

An expert in linguistics, Billy kin tell ye mair aboot Ulster Scots than the next mawn. Efter 13 years at Portavogie Primary School he begun a City an' Gilds diploma in rair wurds in 1974. Although he his nat yit finished, his knowlege o' rair wurds his expanded tae cuver maist o' the Cloughey region. Billy tuk up his post at Saith Aist Ards Bible an Caterin College in 1986, efter a short spell lecturin' oan wurds ootside Ballymoney Orange Hall. He revolutionised the wurld o' linguistics with his invenshun o' the Binary Rude Acronym Simulator in 2001. Since then he his advised several international boadies oan thair acronyms, preventin' nair catastrophe when the Federal University o' Carolina merged wi' the Kentucky Welsh-Irish Trainin' Skool.

Ootside o' wurds Billy enjoys sheds.

WJ McIlveen.

Eldest knain son o' the acclaimed Willie McIlveen, WJ at yinst shewed nae intrest in Auld things. Musicly gifted, he ris tae prominence singin' backin' voculs oan the 1980's advert fur Kimberly Mikado (an coconut Cream). Fame did nat rest aisily oan yung Willie's showlders an' he descended intae cheese addiction soon efter. It wis nat until 1990, when he wis nearly lifted fur thievin' a laffin' coo frae Broughshane Costcutters, that WJ ris up oot o' pits o' dispair. Realisin' the syncronisity betwain his laffin' coo incidint an' his da's yuthful incarceration, WJ begged his faither fur help. Willie enrolled him intae the Archaeologits study coorse at Mid Antrim an sax years later WJ emerged triumphant wi' a 2.2 in Very, but nat wile, Auld Things. Efter a few years oan the brew, a veiled threat frae Willie Sr tae the Chanceller o' King's College, Ballylumford earned WJ a Senior Leckturship, a post he his held doon the last thrie odd years.

Away frae wurk WJ is still fond o' cheese, but he oany luks noo.

Ah will add mair folk when ah kin be ersed.